Motivational Monday #4: Do What Makes You Happy

Whatever makes you happy in life - strive for it. Don't worry about what anyone else will think about it!

Five Ways to Think Differently About your Difficult Job Situation

Do you hate your job? Does your boss seemingly attempt to make your work life miserable? Are your co-workers glum as well?

If you aren’t happy at work, then you have to figure out a solution. No excuses are allowed here. You either quit (likely not a great option), find another job (I know, super scary), or you figure out a way to become happier.

Probably the best option at this time is to figure out a way to become happier at work. Believe it or not, you can control your happiness. Here are five different ways to think about your unhappy job situation.

#1: Remember why you work

I can only think of two different reasons why someone works. (1) Fun or (2) Money. If you are working for fun and are unhappy, then just quit. Seriously. However, I am guessing almost all of us are working for money….because, you know, life isn’t free. If you are in a crap job situation, really wrap your head around the fact that you are getting PAID to deal with the crap. Never lose sight of the fact that you need a job to fund your life.

#2: Everyone is doing their best

I have been in a bad work situation before. Several, actually.  I’ve worked for bosses who did not bring out the best in people. I’ve had co-workers steal ideas to receive credit. I’ve seen just how bad people can behave. These actions bothered me for a very long time and it wasn’t until I read a chapter in “Rising Strong” that I started to see a different angel. She states, “Everyone is doing their best.” Now, she isn’t stating that everyone is doing an amazing job at living among humans, she is simply stating that a person is doing the best they can with the tools they have and experiences they know.

Armed with that phrase…

Maybe that egotistical boss who never took responsibility for mistakes and degraded others to save face is simply doing the best he could. It could be that he was ill-equipped to handle a role of that capacity, but felt he couldn’t let the opportunity go without trying hard to succeed. Is he taking the right, healthy approach? No. But maybe he just doesn’t have those tools in his shed to help him out. Sadly, it is unlikely that he will ever acquire those tools unless something drastically shakes up his world.

Maybe the co-worker who stole ideas is doing the best she could. Stealing is wrong, no doubt. But maybe she is the primary income earner for her family, including supporting her 3 children. Maybe she isn’t succeeding in her job and the fear of losing the only income her family has available is too great of a risk. So she does what she feels she has to do.

No, it isn’t fair. It isn’t equal. It is very difficult to feel like you are always taking the higher road. But arming yourself with this concept will help you to remember that a person’s bad behavior isn’t about YOU, but about themselves. And very often, you will realize that these people are trying to do their best – so maybe, just maybe you should consider cutting them some slack while you figure out your exit strategy from the situation.

#3: Address it or let it go

Full disclosure, this tip actually came from a bad boss. Now she used it to excuse her lack of action on items (e.g., nobody told me it was a problem), which is NOT how it should be used. If someone offends you at work, then you have two options – address it or just let it go. Some relationships are worth the difficult conversation. It is a vulnerable place to be, but once you address how you felt about someone else’s actions, then you will find how much stronger you feel. Hopefully, you will find good in the other person as well and the conversation will strengthen your working relationship. Remember the #1 rule for these types of conversations: don’t attack the other person. Use feeling words. “My feelings were hurt when you said XYZ. It made me feel like my opinion didn’t count.”

If you chose to let it go, then really let it go. Move past the event and don’t think about it again.

#4: Take time for yourself

While work takes us away from our families, it also provides us with some alone time. Use your lunch hour or breaks to benefit yourself. Take a walk, read a book, get a manicure, go shopping, have lunch with friends. Maybe if you focus on the fact that you are working for money AND to take time for yourself, you might start realizing that working can be so much more than just the WORK and DRAMA.

#5: Develop your options

Sometimes a job just doesn’t work out. Use your current job to develop great networks. Be kind and respectful to everyone you meet because you do not know when you may need to leverage them for a future job opportunity. Dive deep into a new area of your job/company – the skills could be exactly what the next great opportunity needs. You may or may not get paid or recognized for taking on a new job area. Be okay with that idea because, you are using your employer just as much as they are using you. Gaining a new skill for your resume is enough of a reason to take more on.

Motivational Monday #3: How Will Your Story End?

I love this quote… nothing is set in stone, your future is not defined!

Italian Fest

Romantic date?  In-law visit?  Company dinner?  If you need to prepare a special meal, then consider an italian meal. It seems to work for most people.  But just in case, it is best to understand if anyone in your party has any dietary restrictions.  If not, then here is an awesome menu sure to please. 

Menu

The Best Lasagna. Ever. (official title, I swear)

Italian Salad

Garlic Bread

Red Wine

When prepping a dinner that is making you a little stressed it is always wise to establish a timeline of when you are going to prepare each item. I will keep it simple for you:

Two days prior…

• Buy all the ingredients. I've posted your shopping list at the very bottom of the post.  If you don't have a cute salad dressing bottle or a mason jar, then buy one - they aren't too expensive.

Between 24 to 4 hours prior to the dinner…

• Whip up the salad dressing. The longer the salad dressing is mixed together, the longer the flavors get a chance to mingle and become tastier. Mix ingredients together and seal in the refrigerator for up to 24 hours.

Salad Dressing 

3 pinches of sugar

3 tbsp red wine vinegar

3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 tbsp fresh flat parsley leaves, finely chopped

1 tbsp red onion, finely chopped

3 tsp lemon juice

Coarse Salt to Taste

Two hours prior to the dinner…

• Begin making the lasagna using Pioneer Woman's most excellent instructions.  
• Two tips:  (1) Start cooking your beef and sausage mixture prior to cooking your noodles. You will have time to cook the noodles while the mixture is simmering. 
• (2) Buy two packages of swiss cheese or one extra large package. The 6 count package is never enough.

While lasagna is cooking…

• Get your garlic bread prepped and ready to go (i.e., open the package).  I don't have an awesome recipe for garlic bread, but check out the freezer section of your grocery store.  MOST garlic breads take 5 minutes to heat, but be sure to read the instructions prior to purchasing.
• Also, prepare your salad by cutting the cherry tomatoes and olives. Wash and dry the arugula.
• Place the silverware and wine glasses on the table.

After lasagna has finished cooking… 

• The lasagna will need to set for a few minutes and while it is setting...
• Place your garlic bread in the oven.
• Toss the salad ingredients (tomatoes, olives and arugula) with the salad dressing (use your hand to ensure you get it all mixed up).
• Open the bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass… because this dinner is almost done.

After garlic bread is finished baking…

• Wrap the garlic bread in a cloth napkin and place it in a basket for the center of the table.  If you don't have a basket, then slice the bread and keep it in the kitchen.
• Dish up each plate with some salad, garlic bread, and lasagna.

All done! Easy, right???

Shopping List

Sugar

Red Wine Vinegar

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Fresh Flat Leaf Parsley

12 Oz Cherry Tomatoes

1/2 cup Kalamata Olives

1 Lemon

1 Red Onion

Arugula

Coarse Sea Salt

• 1-1/2 pound Ground Beef
• 1 pound Hot Breakfast Sausage
• 2 cloves Garlic, Minced
• 2 cans (14.5 Ounce) Whole Tomatoes
• 2 cans (6 Ounce) Tomato Paste
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Basil
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 3 cups Lowfat Cottage Cheese
• 2 whole Beaten Eggs
• 1/2 cup Grated (not Shredded) Parmesan Cheese
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 1 pound Sliced Mozzarella Cheese
• 1 package (10 Ounce) Lasagna Noodles
• Garlic Bread (make sure it doesn't take a long time to heat)
• Red Wine - I love Alamos Red Blend (not expensive and you can find it everywhere)
• 
  

Motivational Monday #2: Happiness

It is all up to you!!! Decide what you need to do to be happy and DO IT!

Get Happier

It is okay to want more.

Over the last few years, I've had conversations with a lot of different people (honest, open, and most importantly, authentic people) who have all, at one point or another, had a similar question of life… "Is this all?"

A ton of people who aren't living authentic lives will immediately judge the person for making this bold statement. These people are living by the motto of "fake it until you feel it" or "I regret nothing" or "my child never did…." or "my spouse and I never…" No matter what they tell you, this is not reality. People are not instant successes. People have regrets. Children aren't perfect. And couples hit roadblocks.

What happens when you surround yourself with people who are constantly living and propagating fake lives is that you begin to feel bad about the reality of your situation. You start feeling "wrong" for wanting to get more out of life. You begin compromising your happiness to attempt to fit in with the "pretending to be fabulous" crowd. You never move your true happiness forward. And you begin to think you are the failure in the scenario. But trust me, you aren't.

You are the exception.

You aren't declaring that your life sucks. You are just simply stating that you are striving to get the MOST that life has to offer. You are bold. You are daring. And you are no longer satisfied with living a busy lifestyle with lots of things, instead you want to live a fulfilled lifestyle. This might mean a different house, different job, living in a different part of the world. It could also mean getting healthy, giving up on a relationship, or working to deepen a relationship. It could mean pretty much anything. 

Don't be afraid to want more. Don't be afraid to tell others that you want more. Because once you decide to strive for more, then positive things will begin to happen in your life.

Because….

Motivational Monday #1: Dream & Live