Do you hate your job? Does your boss seemingly attempt to make your work life miserable? Are your co-workers glum as well?
If you aren’t happy at work, then you have to figure out a solution. No excuses are allowed here. You either quit (likely not a great option), find another job (I know, super scary), or you figure out a way to become happier.
Probably the best option at this time is to figure out a way to become happier at work. Believe it or not, you can control your happiness. Here are five different ways to think about your unhappy job situation.
#1: Remember why you work
I can only think of two different reasons why someone works. (1) Fun or (2) Money. If you are working for fun and are unhappy, then just quit. Seriously. However, I am guessing almost all of us are working for money….because, you know, life isn’t free. If you are in a crap job situation, really wrap your head around the fact that you are getting PAID to deal with the crap. Never lose sight of the fact that you need a job to fund your life.
#2: Everyone is doing their best
I have been in a bad work situation before. Several, actually. I’ve worked for bosses who did not bring out the best in people. I’ve had co-workers steal ideas to receive credit. I’ve seen just how bad people can behave. These actions bothered me for a very long time and it wasn’t until I read a chapter in “Rising Strong” that I started to see a different angel. She states, “Everyone is doing their best.” Now, she isn’t stating that everyone is doing an amazing job at living among humans, she is simply stating that a person is doing the best they can with the tools they have and experiences they know.
Armed with that phrase…
Maybe that egotistical boss who never took responsibility for mistakes and degraded others to save face is simply doing the best he could. It could be that he was ill-equipped to handle a role of that capacity, but felt he couldn’t let the opportunity go without trying hard to succeed. Is he taking the right, healthy approach? No. But maybe he just doesn’t have those tools in his shed to help him out. Sadly, it is unlikely that he will ever acquire those tools unless something drastically shakes up his world.
Maybe the co-worker who stole ideas is doing the best she could. Stealing is wrong, no doubt. But maybe she is the primary income earner for her family, including supporting her 3 children. Maybe she isn’t succeeding in her job and the fear of losing the only income her family has available is too great of a risk. So she does what she feels she has to do.
No, it isn’t fair. It isn’t equal. It is very difficult to feel like you are always taking the higher road. But arming yourself with this concept will help you to remember that a person’s bad behavior isn’t about YOU, but about themselves. And very often, you will realize that these people are trying to do their best – so maybe, just maybe you should consider cutting them some slack while you figure out your exit strategy from the situation.
#3: Address it or let it go
Full disclosure, this tip actually came from a bad boss. Now she used it to excuse her lack of action on items (e.g., nobody told me it was a problem), which is NOT how it should be used. If someone offends you at work, then you have two options – address it or just let it go. Some relationships are worth the difficult conversation. It is a vulnerable place to be, but once you address how you felt about someone else’s actions, then you will find how much stronger you feel. Hopefully, you will find good in the other person as well and the conversation will strengthen your working relationship. Remember the #1 rule for these types of conversations: don’t attack the other person. Use feeling words. “My feelings were hurt when you said XYZ. It made me feel like my opinion didn’t count.”
If you chose to let it go, then really let it go. Move past the event and don’t think about it again.
#4: Take time for yourself
While work takes us away from our families, it also provides us with some alone time. Use your lunch hour or breaks to benefit yourself. Take a walk, read a book, get a manicure, go shopping, have lunch with friends. Maybe if you focus on the fact that you are working for money AND to take time for yourself, you might start realizing that working can be so much more than just the WORK and DRAMA.
#5: Develop your options
Sometimes a job just doesn’t work out. Use your current job to develop great networks. Be kind and respectful to everyone you meet because you do not know when you may need to leverage them for a future job opportunity. Dive deep into a new area of your job/company – the skills could be exactly what the next great opportunity needs. You may or may not get paid or recognized for taking on a new job area. Be okay with that idea because, you are using your employer just as much as they are using you. Gaining a new skill for your resume is enough of a reason to take more on.
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