Motivational Monday #7: Weed or Wish?

Life can be beautiful. It's all in how you perceive it….

Help The Negativity Nellies

Do you know people in your life who are constantly negative?

Nothing ever goes their way.

They've always "had it worse."

Easily gets overwhelmed by something out of the ordinary.

Overly sensitive to comments/situations.

Their life (in their own opinion) sucks.

I do. And it becomes difficult sometimes to see past their negativity. It becomes very draining to have conversations with these individuals. And when you are looking to change your life, it is very tempting to cut these people out.

But, what happens when you realize that someone VERY close to you is a negative person?

Recently, I have come to understand that for these people in my life, I have to change my expectations for them, rather than cut them out entirely. And, this, my friends, has been a revolution for me. Why, because it is easier to move on...  Way easier....

If you have your wits about you, you should have concluded by this time that negative people are depressed people and NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP. 

However, if you have any sense of reality, then you will also know that people will only get help if they want to get help. Yes, you should always encourage someone in this situation to talk to someone about their negativity and depression.  But, you cannot cut them out if they choose not to seek help.

So what can you do?! Basically, be the better person.

Change your expectations. It doesn't matter if this person is your mother, BFF, husband, etc., you need to understand that they are unable to mentally be a supporting system for you and any issues you have in your life. Don't make yourself angry when you pour your heart out to them, only to hear them say "I've had it worse..." They are unable to see past their own negativity to properly help you through the issue. YOU however, should be able to understand the importance of seeking help professional when you need it.

Help them out of negativity ruts.  Find ways or places where this individual seems to be happy. Maybe it is shopping, or cooking, or going to a movie. You don't have to agree with it or like it, but boosting that person's day means a big deal to them (even though you would never hear a thank you).

Praise them when they are happy. Tricky, I know. It feels fake. But, to that person they need to be positively reinforced.  Tell them something like, "It makes me happy when you have happy days like this." If you are feeling risky... follow it up with, "how can we achieve more happier days?"

See a trend, here?  Yes, you have to be the better person.  You were gifted with stronger coping skills.  YES, it STINKS to always be that person.  But, I really believe that you were gifted to help others.

Motivational Monday #6: Cat Advice

If you ever need advice on how to focus on yourself, just pay attention to a cat!!  

Motivational Monday #5: Planning for "Tomorrow"

Never give up on your goals! NEVER! If you keep working towards your end goal, you will achieve success. "Tomorrow" can be a beautiful place!!!!!

Motivational Monday #4: Do What Makes You Happy

Whatever makes you happy in life - strive for it. Don't worry about what anyone else will think about it!

Five Ways to Think Differently About your Difficult Job Situation

Do you hate your job? Does your boss seemingly attempt to make your work life miserable? Are your co-workers glum as well?

If you aren’t happy at work, then you have to figure out a solution. No excuses are allowed here. You either quit (likely not a great option), find another job (I know, super scary), or you figure out a way to become happier.

Probably the best option at this time is to figure out a way to become happier at work. Believe it or not, you can control your happiness. Here are five different ways to think about your unhappy job situation.

#1: Remember why you work

I can only think of two different reasons why someone works. (1) Fun or (2) Money. If you are working for fun and are unhappy, then just quit. Seriously. However, I am guessing almost all of us are working for money….because, you know, life isn’t free. If you are in a crap job situation, really wrap your head around the fact that you are getting PAID to deal with the crap. Never lose sight of the fact that you need a job to fund your life.

#2: Everyone is doing their best

I have been in a bad work situation before. Several, actually.  I’ve worked for bosses who did not bring out the best in people. I’ve had co-workers steal ideas to receive credit. I’ve seen just how bad people can behave. These actions bothered me for a very long time and it wasn’t until I read a chapter in “Rising Strong” that I started to see a different angel. She states, “Everyone is doing their best.” Now, she isn’t stating that everyone is doing an amazing job at living among humans, she is simply stating that a person is doing the best they can with the tools they have and experiences they know.

Armed with that phrase…

Maybe that egotistical boss who never took responsibility for mistakes and degraded others to save face is simply doing the best he could. It could be that he was ill-equipped to handle a role of that capacity, but felt he couldn’t let the opportunity go without trying hard to succeed. Is he taking the right, healthy approach? No. But maybe he just doesn’t have those tools in his shed to help him out. Sadly, it is unlikely that he will ever acquire those tools unless something drastically shakes up his world.

Maybe the co-worker who stole ideas is doing the best she could. Stealing is wrong, no doubt. But maybe she is the primary income earner for her family, including supporting her 3 children. Maybe she isn’t succeeding in her job and the fear of losing the only income her family has available is too great of a risk. So she does what she feels she has to do.

No, it isn’t fair. It isn’t equal. It is very difficult to feel like you are always taking the higher road. But arming yourself with this concept will help you to remember that a person’s bad behavior isn’t about YOU, but about themselves. And very often, you will realize that these people are trying to do their best – so maybe, just maybe you should consider cutting them some slack while you figure out your exit strategy from the situation.

#3: Address it or let it go

Full disclosure, this tip actually came from a bad boss. Now she used it to excuse her lack of action on items (e.g., nobody told me it was a problem), which is NOT how it should be used. If someone offends you at work, then you have two options – address it or just let it go. Some relationships are worth the difficult conversation. It is a vulnerable place to be, but once you address how you felt about someone else’s actions, then you will find how much stronger you feel. Hopefully, you will find good in the other person as well and the conversation will strengthen your working relationship. Remember the #1 rule for these types of conversations: don’t attack the other person. Use feeling words. “My feelings were hurt when you said XYZ. It made me feel like my opinion didn’t count.”

If you chose to let it go, then really let it go. Move past the event and don’t think about it again.

#4: Take time for yourself

While work takes us away from our families, it also provides us with some alone time. Use your lunch hour or breaks to benefit yourself. Take a walk, read a book, get a manicure, go shopping, have lunch with friends. Maybe if you focus on the fact that you are working for money AND to take time for yourself, you might start realizing that working can be so much more than just the WORK and DRAMA.

#5: Develop your options

Sometimes a job just doesn’t work out. Use your current job to develop great networks. Be kind and respectful to everyone you meet because you do not know when you may need to leverage them for a future job opportunity. Dive deep into a new area of your job/company – the skills could be exactly what the next great opportunity needs. You may or may not get paid or recognized for taking on a new job area. Be okay with that idea because, you are using your employer just as much as they are using you. Gaining a new skill for your resume is enough of a reason to take more on.

Motivational Monday #3: How Will Your Story End?

I love this quote… nothing is set in stone, your future is not defined!

Italian Fest

Romantic date?  In-law visit?  Company dinner?  If you need to prepare a special meal, then consider an italian meal. It seems to work for most people.  But just in case, it is best to understand if anyone in your party has any dietary restrictions.  If not, then here is an awesome menu sure to please. 

Menu

The Best Lasagna. Ever. (official title, I swear)

Italian Salad

Garlic Bread

Red Wine

When prepping a dinner that is making you a little stressed it is always wise to establish a timeline of when you are going to prepare each item. I will keep it simple for you:

Two days prior…

• Buy all the ingredients. I've posted your shopping list at the very bottom of the post.  If you don't have a cute salad dressing bottle or a mason jar, then buy one - they aren't too expensive.

Between 24 to 4 hours prior to the dinner…

• Whip up the salad dressing. The longer the salad dressing is mixed together, the longer the flavors get a chance to mingle and become tastier. Mix ingredients together and seal in the refrigerator for up to 24 hours.

Salad Dressing 

3 pinches of sugar

3 tbsp red wine vinegar

3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 tbsp fresh flat parsley leaves, finely chopped

1 tbsp red onion, finely chopped

3 tsp lemon juice

Coarse Salt to Taste

Two hours prior to the dinner…

• Begin making the lasagna using Pioneer Woman's most excellent instructions.  
• Two tips:  (1) Start cooking your beef and sausage mixture prior to cooking your noodles. You will have time to cook the noodles while the mixture is simmering. 
• (2) Buy two packages of swiss cheese or one extra large package. The 6 count package is never enough.

While lasagna is cooking…

• Get your garlic bread prepped and ready to go (i.e., open the package).  I don't have an awesome recipe for garlic bread, but check out the freezer section of your grocery store.  MOST garlic breads take 5 minutes to heat, but be sure to read the instructions prior to purchasing.
• Also, prepare your salad by cutting the cherry tomatoes and olives. Wash and dry the arugula.
• Place the silverware and wine glasses on the table.

After lasagna has finished cooking… 

• The lasagna will need to set for a few minutes and while it is setting...
• Place your garlic bread in the oven.
• Toss the salad ingredients (tomatoes, olives and arugula) with the salad dressing (use your hand to ensure you get it all mixed up).
• Open the bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass… because this dinner is almost done.

After garlic bread is finished baking…

• Wrap the garlic bread in a cloth napkin and place it in a basket for the center of the table.  If you don't have a basket, then slice the bread and keep it in the kitchen.
• Dish up each plate with some salad, garlic bread, and lasagna.

All done! Easy, right???

Shopping List

Sugar

Red Wine Vinegar

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Fresh Flat Leaf Parsley

12 Oz Cherry Tomatoes

1/2 cup Kalamata Olives

1 Lemon

1 Red Onion

Arugula

Coarse Sea Salt

• 1-1/2 pound Ground Beef
• 1 pound Hot Breakfast Sausage
• 2 cloves Garlic, Minced
• 2 cans (14.5 Ounce) Whole Tomatoes
• 2 cans (6 Ounce) Tomato Paste
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Basil
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 3 cups Lowfat Cottage Cheese
• 2 whole Beaten Eggs
• 1/2 cup Grated (not Shredded) Parmesan Cheese
• 2 Tablespoons Dried Parsley
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 1 pound Sliced Mozzarella Cheese
• 1 package (10 Ounce) Lasagna Noodles
• Garlic Bread (make sure it doesn't take a long time to heat)
• Red Wine - I love Alamos Red Blend (not expensive and you can find it everywhere)
• 
  

Motivational Monday #2: Happiness

It is all up to you!!! Decide what you need to do to be happy and DO IT!

Get Happier

It is okay to want more.

Over the last few years, I've had conversations with a lot of different people (honest, open, and most importantly, authentic people) who have all, at one point or another, had a similar question of life… "Is this all?"

A ton of people who aren't living authentic lives will immediately judge the person for making this bold statement. These people are living by the motto of "fake it until you feel it" or "I regret nothing" or "my child never did…." or "my spouse and I never…" No matter what they tell you, this is not reality. People are not instant successes. People have regrets. Children aren't perfect. And couples hit roadblocks.

What happens when you surround yourself with people who are constantly living and propagating fake lives is that you begin to feel bad about the reality of your situation. You start feeling "wrong" for wanting to get more out of life. You begin compromising your happiness to attempt to fit in with the "pretending to be fabulous" crowd. You never move your true happiness forward. And you begin to think you are the failure in the scenario. But trust me, you aren't.

You are the exception.

You aren't declaring that your life sucks. You are just simply stating that you are striving to get the MOST that life has to offer. You are bold. You are daring. And you are no longer satisfied with living a busy lifestyle with lots of things, instead you want to live a fulfilled lifestyle. This might mean a different house, different job, living in a different part of the world. It could also mean getting healthy, giving up on a relationship, or working to deepen a relationship. It could mean pretty much anything. 

Don't be afraid to want more. Don't be afraid to tell others that you want more. Because once you decide to strive for more, then positive things will begin to happen in your life.

Because….

Motivational Monday #1: Dream & Live

Planning a Disney Cruise

If you have children and love to cruise, then this is the cruise line for you!  We've only been once, but we loved it so much that we booked another cruise before we stepped off the ship (and got 20% off the next cruise).

We booked our cruise only 2 months away from our sailing date.  This is considered really last minute in the cruising world.  While it was absolutely wonderful, I did take lots of notes on how to improve our next cruise.  If you have more tips, please share them in the comment section!

Pre-Booking

• Ensure everyone has a current passport.  You will need this information to complete your pre-boarding paperwork, which is a prerequisite for selecting other items.
• Select an early boarding time. Maximize your time on the ship.
• Booking way in advance and completing your pre-boarding paperwork will help you achieve the dining schedule you prefer.
• As soon as you book, check into the cabanas for Castaway Cay.

Things to Pack (other than the normal clothes, sunscreen, camera)

• A signature book. We bought one during our last visit to Disneyland and I cannot believe that I forgot it!  We saw SO MANY characters and had plenty of time to get a signature from all of them.
• Rather than spend money on disposable water bottles, pack re-usable water bottles for the entire family.  The cruise ship has free filtered water/ice available 24/7 on the pool deck. You can keep hydrated, be green and save money! A total win-win-win.  Note:  Sodas are also free and available at the drink station. Click here for water bottle ideas.
• To stay on track of all the fun activities, bring a highlighter! Use it to highlight the activities in the daily Navigator, so you can quickly glance to see whats up next.
• Pirate gear. Seriously. Everyone gets into Pirate Night. You can go simple with a bandana (provided by Disney Cruise Line) or elaborate with a full Captain Hook costume. Regardless of how you dress, be sure the kiddos have something fun to wear or accessorize with on Pirate Night.  Click here for costume ideas.
• Casual clothing is key. For dinners, the guys wore a nice shirt and cargo shorts, while the gals wore sundresses. Keep it classy, but comfortable.
• Something magnetic to decorate your stateroom door.  It's just fun and it helps the adults kiddos find the room easier. Click here for ideas.

Onboard the Ship

• On day one, the pool deck is CRAZY. The pool is like human soup. If you have small kids, this is quite intimidating. Once the pool gets too busy, head indoors to discover the ship. Playing the detective scavenger hunt is a fun way to see lots of the ship and keep the kids entertained.
• Bring lunch (from the buffet) to the Buena Vista Theater to watch a movie. You gotta eat anyway, so you might as well beat the heat and catch a Disney movie.
• Get to Castaway Cay no later than 10AM and grab extra towels when you get off the ship. Here is a picture showing the difference between 10AM and 12PM.

• On Pirate Night, make a point to visit the lobby. Fun stuff.
• The production shows are totally worth it.  The best seats are in the middle front section. Confetti, snow, streamers will fall from the ceiling in this section and you can see the characters up close. Doors open 30 minutes prior to the show and people start lining up an hour before the show starts. The theater has tons of seats, so if you don't care about prime seating, then you can just show up a few minutes before the show starts.
• The kids club is amazing. Amazing. Visit it during the open house times - even if your kids aren't going to go.
• Plan on lots of stair climbing (or being very patient for elevators). We discovered lots of people take the elevator to go up just one floor (when they appeared able bodied to take the stairs).

I hope these tips help make your next Disney Cruise fantastic!  And I really, really hope you share some tips with me!

Money Making Apps {Personally Used By Me}

If you are looking for an easy way to make a little extra cash, then check out these two money making apps that I personally use.  Now, you aren't going to ever become rich off stuff life this, but you can make enough for a fun night out, a new pair of shoes, or even enough to help get ahead with monthly bills.  I am not a faithful user of these apps, so it took me approximately two months to earn enough to cash out.  I am confident that if you used these apps faithfully, then you could easily earn an extra $20 per month. That's an extra $240 per year!  Yes, I know these apps aren't making it "rain" cash, but every single dollar counts.

Ibotta:  This is my all-time favorite way to get money back on my purchases!! The app will promote certain grocery, household, electronic, etc. items and if you purchase the item, then you get a rebate.  The BEST part about this app is that they actually have items I purchase on a regular basis.  They have tons of organic items.  And then lots of "generic" items, such as eggs, where regardless of brand or type, you can get a rebate.  Note:  You can also use a coupon and still cash in the rebate.

Besides groceries, which is mostly what I use on the app, they have rebates for clothing items, etc.  I recently purchased a new pair of boots from Clarks and got a $10 rebate back.  It is worth your time and effort to scroll through this app before you go shopping.  You must earn $10 in rebates before you cash out.  Another perk of this app is that you can cash out via PayPay.  Hello Cash!!

Download the app and then check back here for some high-level instructions {because this part took me a while to figure out}.

Click on the pink bar to unlock the rebate.

Click on the circle to perform an action (view video, take survey, view recipe, etc.).

In this case, click "Learn to Unlock." 

This is what my cash out screen looked like.  It processed to PayPal immediately.

OnGo Surveys:  This app is my favorite survey app.  It displays nicely on the phone screen and the surveys all seem legit.  Be sure to turn your location services on for this app so it can recognize which stores you shop.  Having your location services turned on will increase your survey opportunities.  On average, the survey amounts range from a few cents to $10.  With this app you need to accumulate $10 and can also cash out via PayPal.

Here is a listing of some of the surveys I took.

Here is an example of a higher dollar survey. Totally worth it if you were going to the movie anyway.

What are you waiting for? This is FREE money!! Go now and download these two apps! 

Goal Planning 101

Everyone needs a goal.  Everyone.  It gives you something to strive towards.  And once you achieve your goal, your life is improved somehow - happier, healthier, more balanced. Without goals, you are just going through the motions of life.  Goals don't always have to be elaborate - they can range from tiny to extravagant.  It all depends on where you are in life and your personal appetite for effort and change.

Why am I talking about goal setting during the last quarter of the year?  Because true, quality goal setting takes time.  For a goal to be successful, it must follow this formula:

Write it Down + Develop Action Plans + Share it = Success!

With a little over two months in the year, you have plenty of time to develop exactly what you want to accomplish next year.  When January 1st rolls around, you will be way ahead of the game and you can kick-off your 2016 goals immediately.  Your momentum will become unstoppable.


Here is a step-by-step guide to achieving your goals:

Step 1:

Write down some general goals. Remember, they don't have to be huge goals!  Sometimes a goal is to just keep doing what you've been doing!  So think about it - what do you need to do next year to become happier? Healthier? More Balanced?  

Examples:

Correspond more with loved ones

Criticize / Complain Less

Do Morning Stretches

Perform Weekly Meal Planning

Lose Weight

Read Newspaper / Headlines

Start a Blog

Step 2:

Now, get REAL with yourself.  Ask yourself these question for each goal.

1. How many years has this been a goal of mine?  Why haven't I accomplished it in the past?  What makes this year any different?
2. Are you really willing to put forth the effort required to accomplish this goal?  Do you realize that you must change?  This will potentially mean becoming more vulnerable, waking up earlier, giving up your favorite foods, etc.

I am not trying to discourage anyone from attempting goals, but we need to be realistic with ourselves.  I hear people all the time say they wished they could lose weight or wished they could save more money or wished they could become more organized.  But rarely do I see people actually making the necessary changes to achieve these goals.  If you aren't ready to make changes, then spend 2016 trying to figure out why you aren't ready to let go and improve your life.

Still with me?

Great!! On to the next step.

Step 3:

Create an action plan for each goal.  This should establish exactly how you are going to accomplish the goal.

Example:

Goal: Lose Weight

• Explain to significant other the importance of this goal and describe the exact support needed
• Throw out all junk food / soda
• Get portion controlled containers for meals
• Prepare lunches the night before
• Share goal with co-workers - offer walking as a means to catch-up rather than lunches or drinks
• Walk / ride bike each evening after dinner

By listing out these action items, I now have a plan to implement in order to help achieve my goal.

Step 4:

This step is really important!!  Find an authentic friend who is willing to talk about your goals and progress with you.  Share your written goals with this friend.  Ideally, this friend should also share their goals with you.  Having both people with skin in the game will increase accountability.  Be open and honest with this person.  Be vulnerable about your goals.  Ask them to help keep you on track.  Do the same for them.  If you/they begin to lose traction, ask them questions to help understand the loss of focus.  Schedule weekly touch points with this person and make sure you never miss a meeting.  If you don't have someone to help you stay on track, email me.  But be warned, I will follow up with you!!!

Now for the pep talk.

NOBODY on earth is going to accomplish your goals for you.  I know this is a hard pill to swallow for some, but seriously, it isn't going to happen.  How do you expect to lose weight if you don't change anything?  How do you expect to get a better job if you aren't looking for one?  How do you expect to achieve more happiness and balance without a lot of effort?

YOU control your life.

YOU control your happiness.

YOU can and will accomplish your goals.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Before This And After This

Starting off with a quote that speaks to my heart....

Welcome to My Blog!

Truth be told, I have no idea what this blog will grow-up to be. I have aspirations, though. And I plan on working towards achieving those goals with each and every blog post. My goal is for this site to become a point of reference for individuals and families trying to achieve more balance and happiness in their lives. I hope to accomplish this by providing a current listing of local family friendly events, sharing experiences (both good and bad), providing meal ideas, health concepts, goals/planning guidance, etc., etc., etc. More than anything, I hope any audience that stumbles across my blog will actively participate in sharing similar information. We are a community. All of us. And it is time we started to act like it.